I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
