I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
