Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
