Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You smell like stripper and shame
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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