So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
time to smoke my breakfast
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
