I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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