so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
