i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
