My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
