was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
