Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
