who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
