i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Houston, we have a squirter
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
