You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
