I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There are leaves in my underwear?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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