you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
