Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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