just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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