Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
