I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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