At least make sure they are 18
Why
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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