i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
