dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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