Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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