Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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