Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh god it's open bar.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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