i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
