we're blogging at a bar
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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