Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
