R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
