imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
