I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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