go do what you do best...puke behind churches
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
