I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
