I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
