Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
