I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
