WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drunk is not a location!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
His nipple licking is glorious
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