All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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