i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
