that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
