It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Randomize
