sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
