i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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