Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
