yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
