you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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