Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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