You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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