I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
