Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
