I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
