Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
