Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
