where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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